A language is a form of communication in which one is taught how to communicate, express opinions, emotions, and get by. I was blessed to be born in a family where more than one language was spoken, but I always felt like language never comforted me with its words when I needed it the most. You see, as a child, I used to try so hard to imagine myself in the realities authors spent so much time creating, and sometimes it worked, just for a short while. I used to envy kids that discussed the new hit series, watching the words flow out of their mouths so eloquently, not understanding a thing despite knowing the language. When it would be my turn to discuss my thoughts, my heart pounded faster and faster with every second, threatening to burst from my rib cage every time I chose to be silent. I would frantically look around the room as I had become the center of attention, all eyes on me. I sat still, pinching my school uniform skirt with my clammy hands while the phrases from the book all jumbled up in my brain. I couldn’t bring myself to produce a complete sentence that perfectly expressed my thoughts. Feeling defeated, I would look down to my lap and mumble the smartest thing I could say: “ I agree with everyone.”

      I grew up through most of my childhood with this aching emptiness, not doing anything about it. I kept quiet about this feeling because I wasn’t sure anyone would understand me. This void that lurked inside me made itself acknowledged every year, and I was growing tired of sitting idly and not finding a solution. So I did what my 10-year-old self wouldn’t dare to do; I spoke to a few friends about book recommendations. Unfortunately, all the suggestions I got were not of interest to me, and I felt trapped. Frustrated, I drowned myself in the world of music — and that’s where I found my first enlightenment. I realized music conveyed the English language so simple, never failing to put me in a trance where I pondered the more profound message the author was trying to say. When I realized this, I used to plug my cheap five dollar headphones into my ear and seek comfort from the words the artists sung.

      I continued to listen to music religiously from middle school to my sophomore year of high school. When I thought things couldn’t get any worse — the void came back. I panicked. The permanent solution I thought I found wasn’t helping me anymore. I let this void eat me from the inside until my senior year of high school, where I found my second enlightenment. I came upon a book called The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. My mind raced with so many doubts, “ why would I read a child’s book?” “ I never liked reading, so how is this going to help?”. I delayed every moment I could’ve read this book but ended up finding the courage to read it. 

     The moment I picked up this book, I was shocked. Adrenaline raced through the course of my veins with every word, my mind inhaled every detail the book laid, my heart fed on the terms wholeheartedly, and my soul felt so free. I found myself taking in every lesson I could learn from this book and stored it in my heart to use in the present and future and share it with my loved ones. One specific lesson I learned was from the quote, “ it is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” I took from this quote that one should foster relationships based on deep and meaningful connections rather than shallow ones in life. This quote helped me realize why I was feeling such a void inside my soul. I never had someone with who I can have meaningful and deep connections. This void inside me was trying to show how lonely my soul felt — what I needed was not a poetic verse filled with symbolic expressions, but a friend that I could speak to and create strong bonds with.

     From the book’s pages, the written language that I spoke and read my whole life, I felt the words impact me and mold my perception of myself and the world’s perception. With this book, I made bonds with some of the most amazing people I know. With this book, I learned how it felt to be comforted. With this book, I was finally able to fill the void in my soul.

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